Bonding With Your Baby: 3 Simple Tips
While there are strong natural forces at work which will ensure a lot of the bonding between you and your baby happens intuitively, there are certain methods you can use to accelerate the process and further strengthen that precious bond between you. Some can be learned in parenting courses and others by trial and error. The bond a child shares with his or her parents lasts a lifetime, and it can be daunting as well as incredibly humbling to share such a powerful connection with another human being. Here are three simple bonding tips to get you started…
The Importance of Eye Contact
There’s something other-worldly about the state of a parent and child gazing into each other’s eyes. Both parties seem almost in a dreamlike state and to observe it is to realise there is an intense intimacy that excludes everyone but the two of them. It’s a beautiful thing to witness and to be part of, but it also serves an almost primal purpose in binding mother and child. Before your child understands language or even sound, he or she understands all the love you’re imparting when you look into their eyes. There are some sleep-training regimens that dictate avoiding eye-contact when you are trying to settle your baby into a sleep pattern, but if at any time this disrupts your child’s ability to make eye contact you should disregard that particular element–it is more important that you’re able to freely connect and say all that you want to with a look.
The Importance of Your Voice
It is thought that a baby can recognise their mother’s voice even before birth, so accustomed is your child to the exact tone and pitch. Every person has a voice pattern that is similar to a fingerprint–no two voices are exactly the same. It is incredibly reassuring for your child to hear your voice, the voice he associates with the protection and warmth of the womb, so don’t be afraid to speak constantly to your child. While he or she may have no idea what you’re talking about, the fact that it is YOU talking is a far more important message.
Baby Massage
Especially in those first few months of your baby’s life, his or her sensory environment is what makes the most impact on development, temperament and connection with you. We’ve discussed the importance of sight and sound already, but touch, that ever-reassuring connection between humans–is another vital element. Baby massage is not only beneficial in terms of stimulating your baby’s motor skills and blood-flow, but it strengthens the bond between parent and child at a significantly increased rate. Well into adulthood, the reassuring warmth of a mother’s touch can heal many of the world’s stresses, and as a helpless baby the knowledge that Mum or Dad is present and in physical contact gives the peace and confidence for your baby to excel.
The bond between parent and child is exceptionally powerful, and cultivating and maintaining it is part instinct, part practice. From baby massage to simple eye contact, there are several ways you can accelerate and strengthen the bonding process. If at any time you feel you’re unable to feel the bond, don’t feel it is a reflection on you as a mother–there are several psychological and hormonal reasons this could be happening, so you should consult your GP or Child and Family Health Nurse about the possible causes and courses of action.